Thursday, March 19, 2009

Who and Where and With What and Why?

They are remaking Clue. Maybe it's a re-imagining. Either way, I don't care. There is no need for this perfect movie to be remade. Who could possibly live up to the original cast? Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Leslie Ann Warren, Martin Mull, Lee Ving...are you kidding me? Gore Verbinski of Pirates of the Caribbean fame is directing it, so you know what that means. I didn't know what the meant, actually, until my brother told me. That means that Johnny Depp will be in it. And he'll most likely play the Tim Curry role. And he'll most likely put on a British accent that everyone will think is brilliant because it's a charming knock off of some other British person. I feel flames on the side of my face. Breathing, heaving flames. This blog's name is taken from Clue. I have a deep, spiritual, intellectual and sexual connection with Clue. This is just so upsetting. Here's a Clue clip. If you haven't seen Clue, see it now before it is forever ruined by Depp. In other news, Mr. Verbinski, who is an avid reader of this blog, if you would like to cast me in your remake of Clue, I'd be more than happy to oblige.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Harmonakira or Shamonica

Like most Americans I watched the inauguration with overwhelming pride. I even stood alone in my living room as Obama took the oath of office, though I immediately collapsed in a heap of second hand embarrassment with the whole fumbling over the words of the oath incident. But what really got to me was later that night at the Public Ball when Shakira performed. She looked way hot and sexy and sang that fun bright side of the road song but then, towards the end of the song, she brings out a harmonica! A harmonica! What?! Since when does Shakira play the harmonica in a ballgown and is that necessary and what? And then Stevie Wonder played and he played the harmonica but all I could see what the image of Shakira playing the harmonica, seared in my brain. You may be saying, “Sarah, what’s the big deal?” But if you didn’t see it then you don’t know. My roommate was confused and frightened by the harmonica as well, and equally as pissed that Shakira stole Stevie Wonder’s harmonica thunder. So there.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Why Does Everyone Love Bjork?

I really dislike Bjork. But people LOVE her. Why? Why?? I think everyone is too afraid to say that they find her voice annoying and weird. Because it is.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

White Button Downs equal Mental Health

I've noticed a trend that whenever a woman celebrity wants to appear healthy and happy they pose on the cover of a magazine in an oversized man's button down white shirt and nothing else. Maybe some sexy long socks, but usually nothing else. Aniston did it after the whole divorce thing and Britney just did it on the cover of some magazine I just saw but am not going to look up because I don't want to google Britney and white button down and magazine cover because I just don't want to, OK? Now Aniston's naked on the cover of GQ with only a tie, which I guess means that she's over the healing process and wants to have sex. Interestingly enough, when you're OK about men you wear men's clothes because, like, you don't care! So just so you know, celebrity in a man's shirt: healthy, renewed. Celebrity naked: wants it bad.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans Day

Well, here it is, Veteran's Day, one day after the Marines Corps birthday and the first year (I'm ashamed to say) that I'm really thinking about the people who fight for their country and either live for a long time like my grandfather or become injured or die. Anyway, I'm going to eat a slice of cake, as you do on birthdays, give another little shout out to Cold Steel Walker and say thanks.

In other news, I now like my cats who I had previously disliked. I wouldn't say I'm gay for them, like I am for 90% of dogs, but I feel definite affection.

Good story.